My name is ZZ Myers, but I’ve never been able to grow a beard as long as my heroes.  I live in Minnesota, even though I love octopi.  No, I mean I REALLY love octopi.  My wife is a marvelous Grimpoteuthis discoveryi of enormous size.  Let me tell you, fellas, you’ve never felt anything until you’ve felt beak.  My children are half-breeds I keep in the basement.  Nothing like our family gatherings.  I’ve lost several toes to the little nippers, but I figure it’s all part of playing daddy to the new master race.

If you’ve seen me with my rent-a-family, don’t be fooled.  I have no love for other humans.  Most of my blog posters are various invertebrates, including turd of red head and Josh I-love-men-please-find-me-offensive.  If it seems like we don’t like anyone, we don’t.  We’re just waiting for our time.


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