Steven Novella Gets Owned, Ridden, and Likes It On Dr. Oz.

Oz

I was reading Orac’s dope hazed response to Steve Novella’s time on Dr. Oz, and I’m sorry.  Steve wore a dress and got ridden.  Oz shuts him down, cuts him off, tells him what to think, and pigeonholes him between Oz and another cardiologist.  By the end Steve is bleeting like a lamb and on his knees.  It’s a sad, sad day for skeptics.

I turned it off after Oz tells Steve what is really written on his blog.  Steve is nodding his head like, oh yeah, baby!  Owned.

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By badcalamari Posted in Cthulhu

Neonomicon: Cthulhu Lives!

Neonomicon – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia.

I ZZ Myers, want to say how I became a Cthulhuhead.  I started off as a Baptist, but after years of ritual buggery became bored with the vanilla levels of sex.

I moved rapidly through S and M, and spend a few years as the devoted sex slave of a popular celebrity couple.  They introduced me to Cthulhu parties, much like those recently popularized in the Neonomicon.

It was at one of these parties I met with the love of my life, my beautiful and exotic squiddie.  I parted ways with my masters, losing a testicle in the process, and settled down to ritual bloodletting with my partner.  She taught me everything I know about our dark lord.

They deserved to die | Pharyngula

They deserved to die | Pharyngula.

ZZ Myers:  Now that I’ve begun my missionary trips to various locales, it should be clear to everyone that I’m running a religion.  If that’s not a tip-off, the daily “testimonials” from newly acquired Atheist followers should make people aware of my true intent.

If some of my fringe followers aren’t comfortable with the fact I marked my future victims as blood sacrifices, then I will refrain from making open the drug-induced squid orgy we engaged in with those poor fundies.  That pastor is going to wake up with something foul deeply embedded.  Aah,  I can feel my master’s pleasure at his pain.

By badcalamari Posted in Cthulhu

Someone wanna explain the Streisand Effect to the Pope? | Pharyngula

Someone wanna explain the Streisand Effect to the Pope? | Pharyngula.

ZZ Myers speaks in his head:  What I’m really saying here is that the pope should be kissing Streisand instead of this butterball.  Oh, I realize that this ad clearly supports the idea that the pope is a cross-dressing homosexual.  But by mentioning a Jew at the same time I shock viewers with a gay pope, I’ve done my part to attack two of the world’s major religions.  All that’s missing from this post is a tribute to Cthulhu:  octiporn.

What Would Cthulhu Do?

What would Cthulhu Do?

Cthulhu craves worship.  My blog Pharyngula features images of Cthulhu and his offspring held up for admiration and worship.

Cthulhu craves devotion.  A head priest must be someone who has devoted his life to Cthulhu and his offspring.  I am an expert on octopi, and regularly post images of octopi as “eye candy” for my followers.

Cthulhu hates all other gods.   We attack religion, and aggressively promote his ideology of aggression and hatred.  I claim atheism as a cover, while clearly focusing on octopi.

In order to promote the Cthulhu effectively, I travel internationally, speaking to groups.  I focus primarily on tearing down established religions.

Cthulhu craves fresh blood.  I gather supporters among the young and impressionable.  In my work as an associate professor,  I work hard at indoctrinating students against established religions and encouraging them to join 0ur blogosphere, where I inundate them with beautiful pictures of octopi.

Finally, Cthulhu craves money.  I have begun advertising on Pharyngula.  Give generously.  Cthulhu is not a forgiving god.